Sunday, May 16, 2010

Modeling Control for your Children

Control Your Own Behavior

It would be nice if parents would keep in mind that you can't expect your children to control their behavior when you don't control your own. Try teaching yourself some self-control tools just as you would your kids.

1) Watch the video on "Flip your lid," to understand the brain. Then catch yourself when you are about to flip your lid and do something else.

2) Create your own positive time out--and use it.

3) Share your feelings and take full responsibility for them, "I'm upset right now and need to wait until I can calm down to talk about this." Do not say, "You are making me so upset."

4) Keep a deck of Positive Discipline Tool cards handy. When you get upset, choose one at random to get you out of your mid-brain and into your rational brain. You'll probably pick the perfect one. Make it even more fun, by asking your child to choose a card and random, and decide together which works best to solve the challenge.

5) Don't forget some of the wisdom from the ages: Breathe, count to ten, think happy thoughts, and count your blessings.

Remember that mistakes are opportunities to learn. When you make a mistake, learn from it and start again. And most of all, remember to enjoy your children.