While visiting http://www.empoweringpeople.com/ take a few minutes to watch the video clip of H. Stephen Glenn. Steve is so funny and entertaining as he provides valuable parenting information for Developing Capable Young People.
I was very pleased to find such an excellent review of Positive Time Out and 50 Ways to Avoid Power Struggles in Homes and Classrooms at
This is a favorite book of many who appreciate how short it is while providing so many Positive Discipline parenting and teaching tools.
Dawdler
Question
I have 5 children, 9, 7, 5, 2, and 6 months. My oldest son is 7. It seems that of all of my children, he is the one I have the most trouble with now. For example, I send him to get ready for bed and he just dawdles around in his room. And if I don't remind him over and over again what he is was sent to do, he just dawdles around for a never-ending amount of time it seems. This seems to be the case for most any task that I give him to do. If he is sent on an errand, he quickly forgets what it was he was supposed to be doing and never returns. Is this normal age appropriate behavior? Should I not let it bother me so much? Heidi
Answer:
Dear Heidi, This is normal behavior for many children (they are all different—as you know) AND there are parenting tools you could use that might help. 1) Try creating a routine chart with him? This means that you sit down with him and take dictation while he lists all the things he needs to do at bedtime. If he forgets something, you can chime in. Have him rank order his list. Then take digital pictures of him doing each task and paste them on his "routine chart" (or ask if he would rather draw pictures or symbols after each task). Then let him post his chart where he can see it. Do not add stickers or rewards which take away from the inner reward of feeling capable. 2) One other tool I'll mention is the use of family meetings where he can get help from everyone in the family who can brainstorm solutions--and then he can choose the solution he thinks would work best for him. Of course there are many, many more ideas in the Positive Discipline books. I think you will enjoy watching the video of H. Stephen Glenn on the home page of http://www.empoweringpeople.com/ and listening to some of the free podcasts at http://www.positivediscipline.com/ for more ideas. I wish you the best.
Jane Nelsen